Following Her Lead
Women, even those that are dominant, want a man that will make certain actions that would be seen as dominant. In most of the relationships I've been in, even the dominant ones, I'm the one who makes the first move and the first kiss. I'm the one who comes and and expresses enough interest and asks her out on a date. Though it may not be the same for everyone, it has been my experience.
I've decided that now, when I become serious about a woman and believe she is right for me I will let her know through my words and actions but I won't make any moves. I will be receptive towards all she does and make it known that I will do whatever she wants and accept her decisions, but I will not be so bold as to try to milk affection from her. I won't phrase it in such a way but if she's the type of woman I'm looking for she'll understand and sense this from me.
I know this sounds a bit immature, leaving it up to the woman to do all the "work" in the relationship but I don't look at it that way. I'll be open to whatever she likes and will only refuse if there is a good reason I can't (sickness, harm, excessive fear). I'm not speaking specifically about sex, I'm mostly talking about relationship matters. I want to be monogamous for her. I want to be chaste and I want to express it. I want to acknowledge I am submissive through my deeds and admit to my weaknesses as a man.
When I think about truly giving my heart to a woman I'm scared almost beyond words. I have done that before and it left me empty, disappointed, hurt and disraught. I give myself completely and make myself too vulnerable and have never had it reciprocated. Strange, because I'm usually extremely careful about getting attached. I've only been attached to (what I thought were) exceptional women.
My goal in all this is for a woman to become bolder about her wants and expect them without hesitation. My goal is for a woman I love to propose to me (with me on bended knee, of course) knowing the answer before she finished asking the question.
My weaknesses....I touched upon that in this post and it's something I've been considering for a while. I need to save that for another post. That is a larger topic that I must spend more time on.
I've decided that now, when I become serious about a woman and believe she is right for me I will let her know through my words and actions but I won't make any moves. I will be receptive towards all she does and make it known that I will do whatever she wants and accept her decisions, but I will not be so bold as to try to milk affection from her. I won't phrase it in such a way but if she's the type of woman I'm looking for she'll understand and sense this from me.
I know this sounds a bit immature, leaving it up to the woman to do all the "work" in the relationship but I don't look at it that way. I'll be open to whatever she likes and will only refuse if there is a good reason I can't (sickness, harm, excessive fear). I'm not speaking specifically about sex, I'm mostly talking about relationship matters. I want to be monogamous for her. I want to be chaste and I want to express it. I want to acknowledge I am submissive through my deeds and admit to my weaknesses as a man.
When I think about truly giving my heart to a woman I'm scared almost beyond words. I have done that before and it left me empty, disappointed, hurt and disraught. I give myself completely and make myself too vulnerable and have never had it reciprocated. Strange, because I'm usually extremely careful about getting attached. I've only been attached to (what I thought were) exceptional women.
My goal in all this is for a woman to become bolder about her wants and expect them without hesitation. My goal is for a woman I love to propose to me (with me on bended knee, of course) knowing the answer before she finished asking the question.
My weaknesses....I touched upon that in this post and it's something I've been considering for a while. I need to save that for another post. That is a larger topic that I must spend more time on.
posted by A M at 11:48 AM
1 Comments:
It's a complicated thing that axis of control in a relationship. I proposed to my ex husband but he changed his mind about being married, after we were married. I was often the one who said something or took action and yet I felt really alone and he would act like a kid, getting excited about toys (kid's toys) which really made me feel alone, the only adult in the room. Even as a Femdom I would rather know what he wants by actions and words than try to guess or go with what I feel intuitively.
I've been dating since the divorce and I really tend to be the first to ask a guy out for coffee. But, after that I expect him to ask for a second date. I won't. Maybe I will be single a long time but I won't be with someone who doesn't really want to be with me.
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